The Funniest Tweets From Couples Who Treat The Dog Better Than Each Other

“Every household has its own pecking order. And let’s be honest: Sometimes it’s our canine companion — not our significant other — who’s actually the top dog. If you’re a dog parent who spares no expense when it comes to your pooch’s lifestyle , consider them your confidant and No. 1 cuddle buddy (sorry, hubby!), lavish them with praise and nonstop belly rubs, then you’ll no doubt relate to the sentiments below. Check out 32 hilariously honest tweets from couples who treat their dogs better than they treat each other. 1Whenever my husband shows me affection and my dogs get jealous, I have to tell them that they are my true loves and he means nothing to me.— Stacey (@skittle624) November 3, 2018 2I sneezed and my husband didn’t say a word.Fifteen minutes later the dog sneezed. Husband FROM UPSTAIRS, “BLESS YOU!”— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 26, 2020 3If you want to know how I rate in our household, my wife has one term of endearment for me and 74 for our dog.— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) March 24, 2017 4middle of the night]*wife rolls over*me: I’m trying to sleep!*dog sits on my head*me: Hi puppy— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 6, 2016 5My husband has already apologized more to the dog in 3 weeks than to me in 6 years— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) January 6, 2020 6Husband: *gets in the shower* Me: Honey! Come quick! Hurry!Husband: *soaking wet* What is it? What’s wrong?Me: Look what the dog is doing. Isn’t he the cutest?— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) December 18, 2019 7My husband came home from being gone for 6 days, walked through the door & went straight to the dog. And that’s what it’s like to be married for 20 years.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 6, 2020 8I like to think my dog follows me to the bathroom so we can gossip about my wife in private.— lucy bexley🌈 (@bexley_lucy) July 10, 2020 9I will give my wife a back rub for 5 minutes before I get tired but I’ll rub my dog’s ears for hours until he ends it.— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 17, 2017 10*Arriving home at the end of the day*Me: Hi handsomeHusband: Hi Me: Sorry I was talking to the dog— sophielou (@sophielou) July 17, 2019 11Another romantic evening with my husband except it’s us watching TV while he cuddles with the dogs.— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) July 3, 2017 12Me: Don’t forget we’re wearing matching costumes for Halloween. Husband: Great! What should we be? Me: I meant me and the dog. Husband: Of course you did.— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) October 7, 2019 13WIFE: He never pays any attention to me. All he cares about is that dog.THERAPIST: is this true?ME: sewing swim trunks for the dog] is what true?— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) May 19, 2018 14No one:My husband: I don’t know what your Friday night plans are, but I’m drinking hard seltzer and watching Air Bud with the dogs.— Black Lives Matter Betty (@EzMacArt) February 28, 2020 15*husband snoring*Me: OMG YOU NEED TO GET YOUR OWN ROOM I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!*my dog snoring louder than my husband*Me: OMG You are so adorable!— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 5, 2020 16My husband asked me to do something creative in the bedroom, so I positioned my three dogs in the shape of a heart and went to sleep.— Stacey (@skittle624) April 23, 2018 17My camera roll:2% my wife5% me and my wife93% our dog— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 22, 2017 18*gets home from PetSmart*me: Don’t let the dog see the bag. I don’t want her to know where we got her presentwifemewifeme: What?— Josh (@iwearaonesie) December 11, 2016 19My husband calls me Sugar and my dog’s name is Sugar so when he says, \”C’mere Sugar\” there’s an awkward stare down between me and the dog.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 24, 2017 20Thank god for our dog. She’s the only reason my wife lets me turn on the air conditioning.— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) May 25, 2020 21Me: Bye! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!Husband from another room: Bye! I LO-Me: Oh, I wasn’t talking to you *Goes back to enthusiastically hugging dog*— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) March 2, 2018 22I knew getting a dog would bring my husband and I closer together but I was not prepared for the incredible new level of intimacy and sensitivity he’s displayed… toward the dog pic.twitter.com/uF8kUsojNS— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) April 9, 2020 23wife: You’re home earlyme hugging the dog] I had to see you— Josh (@iwearaonesie) May 3, 2016 24wife returns from overnight work trip]\”Why’s there 2 dirty wine glasses??\”flashback to romantic dinner w/ dog]…it was another woman— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) January 28, 2015 25HUSBAND: I got the dog heart shaped cookies for Valentine’s Day. ME: *through a mouthful of cookies* The dog?— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) February 14, 2019 26My dog decided she is a teddy bear, and I wake up to her and my husband like this every morning now. pic.twitter.com/Nopf7pbe1O— Black Lives Matter Betty (@EzMacArt) November 7, 2019 27I insisted on making my dog her own pancake and my wife is annoyed with me?? Just because I made us late for therapy?? Big picture, babe. pic.twitter.com/glTdEZxI8L— lucy bexley🌈 (@bexley_lucy) July 12, 2020 28I convinced my spouse we needed more “security” but mostly I wanted a video doorbell on our backdoor so I could watch live streams of our dogs all day.— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 16, 2019 29When me or my wife video call each other it goes like this: \”Hi, where’s the dog?\”— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) August 28, 2017 30Husband: We need to stop spending so much money.Me: *fluffing the pillows on the dogs’ new paw patrol beds* not sure what you mean by that but okay.— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 9, 2020 31Dog: *sneaks one of my chips*Me: aw you sneaky goose 😍Husband: *sneaks one of my chips*Me: pic.twitter.com/cSM4YBLj5v— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) August 6, 2019 32In an effort to keep our house clean before Christmas, I’ve asked my husband & kids to relocate. Dogs can stay. I’m not heartless.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 23, 2019

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