Tucker Carlson’s Conspiracy Theory Falls Apart In The Weirdest Way Possible

“Fox News host Tucker Carlson told his viewers that he had some very important papers related to his conspiracy theory surrounding Hunter Biden, son of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden.  But the papers were lost ― and so Carlson concocted yet another conspiracy theory to explain their disappearance. Carlson claimed a “source” gave the Fox News show “damning” documents about Biden on Monday. Carlson’s producer shipped the documents across the country via a “brand-name company,” but they never arrived.  Instead, the shipping company said the package had been opened and the documents were missing.  The shipping company launched a search and called in security to interview everyone who touched the documents, Carlson said. “They went far and beyond, but they found nothing,” he said. “Those documents had vanished.”  He said the unnamed company’s executives are “baffled and deeply bothered by this, and so are we.”  Carlson did not explain why they shipped the only copy of “damning” documents.  Twitter users couldn’t help but laugh:   BREAKING: burned out House of Cards writer pitches old Spin City episode https://t.co/RGcSliErQ4— Matt 🎃swalt (@MattOswaltVA) October 29, 2020 BREAKING: Documents Tucker Carlson never actually had that would allegedly blow up the election were so important that they were sent via DHL, and now can’t be found despite copiers, iPhone cameras and security cameras. 😂😂😂 https://t.co/9yKkDAUh2v— Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) October 29, 2020 Oh for f*%! sake, seriously? Would have been a better story if your dog ate the damn papers. https://t.co/6yllQu7pU0— Michael Steele (@MichaelSteele) October 29, 2020 did you check underneath Trump’s healthcare plan https://t.co/Ec9PBvdBRu— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) October 29, 2020 Wait, so I’m supposed to believe that Tucker’s producer *mailed* him a cache of election-changing documents — rather than just faxing them over, using their camera phone, or just adding them to a show slide — and said documents were stolen in the mail?Laughably desperate. https://t.co/71bFSR22Ty— Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) October 29, 2020 The mimeograph machine was broken. They tried to call, but couldn’t find a phone booth.Then they ran out of typewriter ribbon. https://t.co/EzjSeJjmPe— Cheri Jacobus (@CheriJacobus) October 29, 2020 Shit. They must have gotten lost with Hillary’s email Server. Those darn mail people. What scoundrels. Now Tucker, do the thing about the 226,723 Americans who have died of Covid or the one about the Stock Market crashing today. And go… https://t.co/BvUdzLg2n6— Josh Gad (@joshgad) October 29, 2020 EVERY Trump supporter will believe this. All of this. I know because I’ve already heard from hundreds of them. https://t.co/EbWWq9edtJ— Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) October 29, 2020 Ha! The producers sent the ONLY copies. Oh no! https://t.co/nhVoAEFjOq— h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) October 29, 2020 People said it was crazy for Hunter Biden to plant spies at UPS and have them strategically open and then repackage everything sent from Tucker Carlson’s office just so they’d know when it was time to reveal themselves and actually steal the single copy of incriminating evidence— Ben Dreyfuss (@bendreyfuss) October 29, 2020 Obviously the executive producer tipped off the Clinton Foundation, which has a network of deep penetration document-interception agents inside Fedex. Trust nobody. https://t.co/fhobizU5Eb— David Frum (@davidfrum) October 29, 2020 Fascinating tale. But the source isn’t simply resending you a copy why? https://t.co/YGQgmwWCJJ— Philippe Reines (@PhilippeReines) October 29, 2020 Like Tucker, I also send my super secret documents through the mail and fail to make a copy. https://t.co/QFNgRGBjPz— 👻Boo ( Drew ) Savicki 👻 (@SenhorRaposa) October 29, 2020 This is – and I do not say this lightly – the dumbest fucking thing this dumb motherfucker has ever broadcast.The Boya from La Jolla alleges his team had critical documents but didn’t bother making a copy and just dropped them in a FedEx where nefarious things occurred!1/ https://t.co/UmxRLCilDs— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 29, 2020 It would be impossible to explain to aliens why Tucker Carlson has a show https://t.co/EhBm6CsZ3z— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) October 29, 2020

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