“Life in 2020 is enough to make anyone say, “Enough with the poodles already.” But a comedy writer has offered “Gilmore Girls” fans something that’s as good a cheeseburger with a side of cheeseburger. Mike DiCenzo, who wrote for “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” published a Twitter thread on Monday imagining how characters from “Gilmore Girls” would respond to the COVID-19 pandemic — and it perked up Twitter like a cup (or 10) of Luke’s coffee. \”How Gilmore Girls characters would respond to the pandemic\” (a thread)Lorelai – makes her own masks from old concert T-shirts, has re-watched every movie made before 1950, uses Covid as an excuse to get out of Friday Night Dinners, but then has to Zoom into them— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 DiCenzo is a superfan of the beloved Amy Sherman-Palladino series, telling HuffPost via Twitter that it’s “probably my favorite show of all time.” “I’ve watched it a lot over quarantine,” he said. “But I also watched it a lot before quarantine.” DiCenzo is so into the show that a “Tonight Show” fan created a compilation of every time he talked about his love for “Gilmore Girls” on Fallon’s show. I have no idea how you found all this footage, but I love this. https://t.co/DrxHFaYY0c— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) November 26, 2016 So, with that knowledge in mind, it only seems natural that a few nights ago, when DiCenzo was having trouble sleeping, he began thinking of the people of Stars Hollow. “I’ve seen a lot of ‘which TV characters would be anti-maskers’ content,” he told HuffPost. “And the image of Kirk from Gilmore Girls in a Hazmat suit popped into my head. And then scenarios for every character started developing in my mind. It was making me laugh, so I figured I’d put my take on ‘Gilmore Girls in Pandemic’ out into the world.” Kirk – wears full Hazmat suit, goes door to door selling homemade vaccine— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 To read DiCenzo’s funny predictions, just scroll down. And if you want even more of DiCenzo’s GG content, scroll even further down to get his takes on a few other minor characters he didn’t mention in his thread. Rory – (Seasons 1-4) wears a mask everywhere – to sleep, shower, between bites of food. (Seasons 5-7) goes to a Covid superspreader party with Logan— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Paris – in total lockdown. Constantly administering painful Covid tests to Doyle, shoving the swabs up his nose. Doyle: “I think you just hit my brain.” Paris: \”Don’t flatter yourself, your brain’s not that big.\”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Miss Patty – wears a plastic face shield, because \”Honey, I can’t cover up half of my face! It’s only got a few good years left!\”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Richard & Emily – Emily thinks it’s a hoax, still planning to travel to Europe, keeps coughing but insists it’s allergies. Richard def has a Covid scare, which causes Emily to have a change of heart.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Luke – delivers food to Lorelai and Rory every day; wears a plain black mask until Lorelai gives him a colorful one she made, then wears that every day, even after the pandemic is over— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Taylor – finds a way to classify his soda shoppe as an essential business, but makes all his competitors shut down. (\”Luke, in times like these, people need a smile… a smile that only shaved ice and pennycandy can provide!\”)— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Sookie – can’t stop making food in quarantine. Jackson complains that he’s gained 20 pounds; he starts sneaking all her food around town to people’s doorsteps. Also has 5 more children.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Michel – constantly sanitizing every surface at the inn, cleans a Purell bottle with Lysol wipe, has no patience for anti-maskers: \”Do us all a favor and cover your face… or at least get adult braces.\”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Babette – wears a mask because her cat Apricot is immunocompromised, but tells Lorelai, \”I think we should say ‘To hell with it,’ throw a big party. Music, dancing. Go out in style. Like on the Titanic!\”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Lane – starts arguing with Zack, who is anti-masker. Reconnects with Dave Rygalski, they start sending hand-written letters to each other. Writes a bunch of new love songs, which Zack can tell are about someone else.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Mrs. Kim – follows people around her shop, and if they so much as graze an antique rocking chair, shouts, \”You touch it, you buy it!\”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Christopher – uses pandemic as an excuse to reach out to Lorelai. Texts her, “Hey Lor, just wanted to check in.” This text pops up on her phone while Lorelai is showing Luke a YouTube video of those twins reacting to Phil Collins.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Logan – retreats to his house in Westport, which he calls \”The Bunker,\” along with Finn and Colin. Invites Rory to \”come join our bubble, Ace.\” When she gets there, there’s 150 drunk people partying without masks.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Dean – has 8 different essential worker jobs. Reaches out to Rory to have a socially distant hang. Says, “I remember you telling me about pandemics and stuff. You’re so smart.”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Jess – definitely uses a bandanna as a mask. Drives across country and writes the great American novel. Quarantines with his surfer dad in Venice Beach for one day, then drives back to Stars Hollow.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 April – when Luke’s Diner has to close, she sets up a website for online orders and delivery; also possibly cures Covid— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 T.J. – has gotten Covid 3 times. Luke: \”How is that even possible?\” T.J: \”I dunno! Guess I’m like the Invincible Man!” Luke: “Uh huh.” T.J: “Oh, I’ve also lost all sense of taste – but between you and me, with your sister’s cooking, it’s a blessing”— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Town Troubadour – the only musician in the world whose life is not impacted at all by Covid. Just keeps singing outdoors by himself.— Mike DiCenzo (@mikedicenzo) December 7, 2020 Tristan Dugray (Chad Michael Murray): “My girlfriend says she thinks Tristan has really turned his life around and is now a front-line health care worker. That made me laugh, so let’s go with that,” DiCenzo told HuffPost. Max Medina (Scott Cohen): “I could see Max gaining a cut following on Instagram (it’d be surprising to him) as a “handsome woke teacher” who posts about places you can donate and ways you can help. His marriage is probably falling apart in quarantine, but he can’t bring himself to reach out to Lorelai. Def Instagram-stalks her though.” Lucy (Krysten Ritter): “I feel like there’s a ‘Dateline’ episode about Marty and Lucy. That’s as far as I’ll get into it.”
